There are certain people in my life that I always wished I could help. People who seem to always get themselves into trouble. People who always seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. And I think for a long time I have asked myself this very question, “How can I really help people?”
The truth is, there are times I just don’t have what it takes. I can learn everything in the world, every therapeutic technique known to man-but I can’t give anyone the will to help themselves. I can’t change the fact that at the end of the day I still can’t mess with another person’s free will, and even if I could, why would I want to?
I want them to live, to thrive. I want them to care about themselves. I see the gifts and the potential. I want that. But that doesn’t mean jack squat because it’s not my life, therefore it is not my decision.
And I think there are a lot of people out there who want to put out the fires of their loved ones instead of watching their lives burn to the ground, only to see another fire spring up somewhere else. And that turns into a bit of a paradox because the very act of rescuing someone from their own consequences prevents them from having the opportunity to rise out of the ashes of their own accord.
But that doesn’t really help the people who love them, does it? People who hurt seeing the ones they love falling apart with nothing to do but raise their hands to the sky and hope for a miracle.
I remember a time in my life when I wasn’t making the wisest decisions. And I’m sure there were probably people out there who felt the same about me, who wanted to help me but didn’t know how. Back then, I don’t think there was anyone or anything that could have helped me as much as my suffering did. But I will never forget the few people who still had faith in me and I will carry my gratitude for them for the rest of my life.
So I guess, in answer to the question, “How can I really help people”, my answer is this. Have faith that they will learn what they need to learn in their own time, as they experience the consequences of their decisions. Have faith in the good in them, no matter how hidden. And be as healthy and happy as you can.